My human name is Gunther. I use that name because humans are unable to pronounce my real name, but catfish seem to be able to say it with no trouble. I am the Zookeeper of the AlienZoo, which is a billions-year-old project operated by the Zoological Organization of Neo Explorers (a.k.a. “Z.O.N.E.”).

Of course, you humans call this place “Earth”, but we call it the “AlienZoo”. As the Zookeeper, I use wrist-watch holographic projection technology help me to appear as human when I am around you. It’s just easier that way. In fact, we’re thinking of spinning off this technology to celebrities so they, too, can walk around without all the fanfare.

Living amongst you brings me closer to understanding your behaviors and tendencies, and like many of you these days, I write my own blog.

I come from a long line of explorers that dates back to the beginning of Z.O.N.E. My grandfather, Marcel, was one of the most infamous agents in the AlienZoo because of a little incident near Roswell, New Mexico in 1947.

Not long ago, my species suffered a catastrophic galactic event as my home planet was the victim of an apparent hit-and-run incident. . . with an asteroid. While some survived the impact, the planet was unihabitable, so the survivors set out to find refuge in other parts of the galaxy. The asteroid remains at-large to this day.

For that reason, my motto is: “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today because you never know when a huge asteroid is going to swing by and destroy your planet.” It’s also why I am on a quest to one day be able to introduce the humans to the truth and help them to understand their place in the universe.