Please don’t feed the conspiracy!

In my observation of humans, I’ve often wondered what does it really take to become a human leader? I wanted to find out, so I thought I would run for President of the United States of America. Humans refer to this position as “leader of the free world”, so I thought this would be the best leadership position to experience firsthand.

Some of my fellow agents and I thought it would be a good idea, so we got to work. First, we came up with the campaign slogan: “Why not?” Next, we made some signs for people to put in their front yards, bumper stickers for cars, and buttons for humans to wear. Most importantly, we printed up some shirts to make it official!

If there is one thing that I’ve observed in human behavior, it is the power of your appearance on signs and shirts to gain approval with other humans. If you’re on a shirt, you must be good!

Now get out there and vote!

Click here to get your “Gunther for President” T-Shirt from the AlienZoo Gift Shop!

Please don’t feed the conspiracy!

Sheep? Why sheep? I heard some humans talking about this the other day and they seem to think that Sheep are a major target for abductions.

Well, they’re kind of right, and here is the reason: It’s cold in outer space!

A nice sweater made from genuine sheep’s wool is the best way to stay cozy on those long trips across the galaxies. So when agents from the AlienZoo are set to go out on long space journeys, they “borrow” a sheep, take the wool, and make a stylish sweater. Then they put the sheep back where they got it. . .unless of course they’re hungry, in which case they get a sweater and a nice dinner.

OK, that last part was just made up.

But the sheep are usually pretty cool about it. They like to take the ride and get away from grazing for a night, we like the sweaters - everyone wins.

It doesn’t matter where in the universe you’re from – sheep wool makes the best sweaters!

Click here to get your “Ssshheep!” T-Shirt from the AlienZoo Gift Shop!

Please don’t feed the conspiracy!

Among the humans, it is reported and widely speculated that an incident which occurred near Roswell, New Mexico in 1947 was the result of an “alien” vessel crashing, leaving some of the vessel’s occupants dead or injured.

At the time, humans were conducting experiments involving weather balloons and crash test dummies in New Mexico. An AlienZoo agent (projecting as a human) was investigating, and in doing so, he was nearly discovered in a restricted area. Human or not, he wasn’t supposed to be where he was, so he hid himself amongst the crash test dummies and waited for a chance to escape.

Unfortunately, the hiding spot he chose was actually a pod that was attached to a weather balloon experiment set to launch. Before he realized it, he found himself floating from a rather high altitude and heading straight for the ground.

His added weight was just a bit more than what the balloon could sustain, which ultimately caused the balloon to drift down toward the ground and crash near the town of Roswell. Fortunately, the agent was not badly injured, nor was he discovered by humans, although human accounts of the incident remain quite controversial. The crash test dummies did not fare so well.

The agent, now retired from AlienZoo field work, is affectionately known around the AlienZoo Organization as the last remaining ’survivor’ of the Roswell crash. I call him Grandpa.

Click here to get your “Roswell Survivor” T-Shirt from the AlienZoo Gift Shop!

Welcome to my blog. I am Gunther and I am the AlienZoo Zookeeper.

The AlienZoo, of course, is the planet you all call “Earth”. If you want to know more about how the AlienZoo, er, Earth, came to be, you can read the story of the planet’s origin and how you came to be here.

I started this blog to speak directly to you, the humans, using a format familiar to you. How many other extraterrestrial beings would do that for you? As the Zookeeper here, you might think that my role would be to keep you here in your “cage”, but the reality is that things are changing in the intergalactic sense and I believe that the time for you to know the truth and to know your place in this universe has come.

And so I am here to tell you how it is. True believers, debunkers, sci-fi buffs, boys, girls, young, old - ask me your questions, raise your concerns, doubt me if you will. It is my goal is to reach you with the answers you seek.

All I that I ask is that you please don’t feed the conspiracy!, and don’t forget to visit our fantastic AlienZoo Gift Shop! It is truly an extra-terrestrial experience.

Click here to get your AlienZoo T-Shirt!