Humans hate telemarketer calls and spam emails. I have also heard that (most) humans dislike probes, particularly of the anal variety.

That got me to thinking. . . perhaps the AlienZoo Organization could start a “Do Not Probe List” where humans and other species within the AlienZoo exhibit could submit their names. Anal probes are not as common now as they once were, but from time to time, a visiting being or two has been known to run some tests and it’s not always enjoyable for the human test subject.

So without further ado, add your name to our “Do Not Probe List” and we will submit your information to the intergalactic “Do Not Probe List” which will (hopefully) prevent a number of unwanted probes.

Fill in your name and email (see above) - that’s it!

Please don’t feed the conspiracy!

While it is true that Pink Floyd’s keyboard player/vocalist Richard Wright passed away today, there is no truth to the rumors that he was abducted by aliens. I overheard some human speculation today that suggested some other-worldly beings were looking for a talented, experienced musician to jam with them later this week, so they came down to the AlienZoo and took Richard Wright of Pink Floyd fame - or possibly to reunite him with former Pink Floyd frontman Syd Barrett, who definitely was abducted in the late 1960s and replaced by a working clone of himself.

Anyway, I made some calls to my sources within the AlienZoo Organization to verify that just in case any conspiracy theories about Richard Wright’s death would crop up in the next few days.

I will acknowledge that the humans and the AlienZoo lost a true source of inspiration in Richard Wright. When they say that Pink Floyd was “first in space” they had no idea how true that really was.

Please don’t feed the conspiracy!

Sheep? Why sheep? I heard some humans talking about this the other day and they seem to think that Sheep are a major target for abductions.

Well, they’re kind of right, and here is the reason: It’s cold in outer space!

A nice sweater made from genuine sheep’s wool is the best way to stay cozy on those long trips across the galaxies. So when agents from the AlienZoo are set to go out on long space journeys, they “borrow” a sheep, take the wool, and make a stylish sweater. Then they put the sheep back where they got it. . .unless of course they’re hungry, in which case they get a sweater and a nice dinner.

OK, that last part was just made up.

But the sheep are usually pretty cool about it. They like to take the ride and get away from grazing for a night, we like the sweaters - everyone wins.

It doesn’t matter where in the universe you’re from – sheep wool makes the best sweaters!

Click here to get your “Ssshheep!” T-Shirt from the AlienZoo Gift Shop!