Please don’t feed the conspiracy!

The most interesting part of all that “Bigfoot in a freezer” news from a few weeks ago was the DNA test that indicated quite a lot of opossum DNA related to that particular frozen Bigfoot.

Sadly, this event confirms what we feared had happened to “Lucky”, our pet opossum here at AlienZoo. You see, he went missing a few weeks back. But despite thousands of posters we put up all over town that showed a picture of Lucky and the caption asking “Have you seen me?”- it turns out he wasn’t so “Lucky” after all.

Lucky was our beloved pet, but like most opossum, he was a loner and he tended to hang out around busy roads. We think he stowed away on a truck or a train somehow, then traveled across the country and ultimately wound up as many opossum do: road kill. Poor, poor Lucky.

A couple humans found him and stuffed his remains inside “Bigfoot”, which they then stuffed in a freezer. The rest is history.

R. I. P. Lucky.

Please don’t feed the conspiracy!

“Will Probe 4 Food” is certainly a sign of the times. Grey or Human, I suppose we all do what we have to do to survive in this rough economy that seems to be engulfing the entire AlienZoo and rippling throughout the galaxy and across the dimensions.

One day, we’re all going to look back on this and laugh.

In the meantime my human friends, why not commemorate these trying times by doing your part to stimulate the intergalactic economy by purchasing your very own “Will Probe 4 Food” t-shirt from the AlienZoo gift shop.

Really, it’s the least you can do.

Click here to get the “Will Probe 4 Food” T-Shirt from the AlienZoo Gift Shop!

Please don’t feed the conspiracy!

Among the humans, it is reported and widely speculated that an incident which occurred near Roswell, New Mexico in 1947 was the result of an “alien” vessel crashing, leaving some of the vessel’s occupants dead or injured.

At the time, humans were conducting experiments involving weather balloons and crash test dummies in New Mexico. An AlienZoo agent (projecting as a human) was investigating, and in doing so, he was nearly discovered in a restricted area. Human or not, he wasn’t supposed to be where he was, so he hid himself amongst the crash test dummies and waited for a chance to escape.

Unfortunately, the hiding spot he chose was actually a pod that was attached to a weather balloon experiment set to launch. Before he realized it, he found himself floating from a rather high altitude and heading straight for the ground.

His added weight was just a bit more than what the balloon could sustain, which ultimately caused the balloon to drift down toward the ground and crash near the town of Roswell. Fortunately, the agent was not badly injured, nor was he discovered by humans, although human accounts of the incident remain quite controversial. The crash test dummies did not fare so well.

The agent, now retired from AlienZoo field work, is affectionately known around the AlienZoo Organization as the last remaining ’survivor’ of the Roswell crash. I call him Grandpa.

Click here to get your “Roswell Survivor” T-Shirt from the AlienZoo Gift Shop!

Welcome to my blog. I am Gunther and I am the AlienZoo Zookeeper.

The AlienZoo, of course, is the planet you all call “Earth”. If you want to know more about how the AlienZoo, er, Earth, came to be, you can read the story of the planet’s origin and how you came to be here.

I started this blog to speak directly to you, the humans, using a format familiar to you. How many other extraterrestrial beings would do that for you? As the Zookeeper here, you might think that my role would be to keep you here in your “cage”, but the reality is that things are changing in the intergalactic sense and I believe that the time for you to know the truth and to know your place in this universe has come.

And so I am here to tell you how it is. True believers, debunkers, sci-fi buffs, boys, girls, young, old - ask me your questions, raise your concerns, doubt me if you will. It is my goal is to reach you with the answers you seek.

All I that I ask is that you please don’t feed the conspiracy!, and don’t forget to visit our fantastic AlienZoo Gift Shop! It is truly an extra-terrestrial experience.

Click here to get your AlienZoo T-Shirt!